...Of all the make up, the hair dos or the dress ups...
If you don't even feel good within.When the sad tries to comfort the sad:
I headed out with Lily on the rainy and windy Saturday. Two girls out in downtown doing whatever they feel like doing... Sound inspiring? You may imagine it to be filled with alcoholic beverages and glamourous clothing and maybe even random conversations with strangers; but I assure you, it was quite the opposite.
We both wore sweater-like tops. I wore mine with two layers of tight leggings and an extra thick tank top underneath and knee high boots with extra thick socks (I'm like a granny when it comes to the cold, okay).
As we were walking out of the rain, the wind threw a sudden gust and forced my umbrella pole to smack into my face hard which then only caused me to panic and swing my umbrella at Lily who was beside me. This, then knocked her umbrella out of control, leaving her open to the rain. We began bickering as passerbys passed while laughing at us. Not only was she frustrated with my lack of elegance in using an umbrella but she was also frustrated with my taking up her personal space. Fyi, I suspect one of my legs being slightly longer than the other because I tend to head towards a certain side when I walk all the time. Some guys who picked up on this will shamefully walk on that side knowing that I will soon be walking pressed up against them. I assume I don't need to remind you that Lily is not a guy so she can do without that.
We didn't dine at any fancy restaurant or lounge at any hip bar. No, we sat @ tim hortens eating doughnuts and cookies while sharing a hot chocolate. I couldn't finish a whole one on my own and Lily... Well, Lily was just trying to save $2 I think.
As we waited for our order, I suddenly saw a seating I deemed as a "choice spot" so I informed her that I was going to grab it before it's taken. She casually responds with, "Okay." As she joined me later, she couldn't help but come accompanied with an expression I can only draw out as, "-____-" She says, "So, there's no one here... But you felt inclined to have to save a table anyway... And not only that, you pick the worst seats in the place which is right beside the door so that we have to feel the freezing cold every time someone opens the door?"
Me: "Yes."
After our fattening snack we saw Ginger and thought, "let's check it out." But oh no, wait. There's no one lining up. We won't look cool going in. So we stood on the side verbally contemplating loudly about going in as the bouncers watched. Suddenly a huge group of people went towards the place so we threw ourselves in front of them before they could make it to the line. We were now satisfied, feeling like its cool enough for our presence... Only now we had to wait. We waited and waited... Soon we became grumpy, emotionless and quiet. I couldn't help but to stare at the bouncers with that "look I do" which I would later explain.
Out of nowhere, there were gun shots from perhaps half a block from us. Everyone, including the bouncers jumped and turned... Except us. Not even twitch from us. I merely continued starring at the bouncer and not too long later, we were let in... It was the cold hearted stares I tell you. Next time you have to wait, stare at the bouncer and let no reason stop you from starring. They should get so creeped out that they'll let you in.
Once in, we danced. We danced and we danced and we danced some more. The whole time though, Lily kept asking me, "Are you okay?" Finally I couldn't take it anymore and screamed, "Yes!! WHY!?". She goes, "You look mad." All I could say was, "That's just my face." Every person who has hung out with me without engaging in a conversation will see this face eventually: >=|
How can someone who's so close to me not see it enough to know it's just me? Because I'm always talking... And when I talk, I'm always smiling like this ^_____^.
Not long later, I began picking good spots again.
"Hey Lily, I found a good spot to dance!"... I direct her to the spot between the two washrooms, to which she replied, "Okay, you're not picking spots anymore, there's a reason why there's nobody over here."
What seemed like a night with two grumpy girls really wasn't that bad. Its the other's stupidity that keeps us so entertained and light hearted.
But when I got home, I felt down again. That feeling of loneliness and dissatisfaction just seeps into you when it's dark. It doesn't seem to matter how many smiles you had that day, it's the moment you stop to think that it gets you.
FYI, when girls say they want to look young they really mean to not have wrinkles, not that they want to look like a kid.
