"I have had dreams, and I have had nightmares. I [will overcome] the nightmares because of my dreams."
... No matter how great the opposing numbers are, I must rely on those few good dreams.
I feel troubled... Always around the same times everyday. I spend hours trying to stabilize and rid the feeling; only to have it return throughout the day, as well as in the deep of my sleep. Processing it only works for so long. There are so many pesky problems deriving off a small source. This is why I love music at times like this... it lends me energy to pump a similar melody that I used to hold in my heart. The melody my heart no longer knows how to play on it's own.
It's crazy how much I've changed even without immediate realization. I started thinking, if the brain is capable of learning and growing through experience, why not use it. In my opinion, stupidity isn't defined as not knowing; but knowing yet disregarding it as if you were never taught. To behave as if you took nothing with you but the practice of immaturity.
Knowledge is simple, wisdom is complex. Often there are more lessons than one that intertwine in hardship. We all pick up the same book in the beginning but leave off on different chapters.
Whenever a person uses the word humble to directly describe themselves, I see a contradictment... 'Real' humble people don't find themselves humble because they truly believe they are not that great.
12:26pm, February 23
Give me time and I will give you change.
Give me fuel and I will you more than change;
I will give you transformations.
What do I want? What do I need? My dreams show me what I yearn to feel, but not what I must do to achieve that. It's hard for me to feel satisfied, especially when I'm so far from it. But my nightmares like to make me requestion what I think I need... Leaving me again, with no direction or aim.
I'm exhausted.
Nothings changed, don't crowd or doubt me.
I just keep waiting. My enduring patience is failing.
I am: wanting to do something drastic. I am craving change.
